Wonder if you are “ready” to talk about money?
Talking with people about money can bring mixed expectations and challenges, because money is not neutral and our money realities are not shared.
Talking with people about money can also be a way to know yourself and people you care about better, so you can make stronger plans and deepen your trust, respect and badass justice-seeking powers together.
It’s time to get ready.
Use this guide to help you better understand your relationship to money, your financial situation and needs, your hopes and your dreams, and your habits and assumptions, so you can bring that information into making really awesome money plans that truly work for you and the people you’re building with.
Get ready to talk about money: a conversation prep checklist & journaling guide.
In motorcycle safety class they teach a framework for preparing to take a ride on your bike:
- Am I ready? (what’s my mental state?)
- Is my bike ready? (what’s the state of the mechanics?)
Notice that before you go through the technical safety protocols, you have to start with a personal question. To begin an endeavor that has possible pitfalls, you assess and prep yourself first.
Similarly, when you’re getting ready for a convo about money, your first job isn’t to talk about money (you’ll get there – don’t worry). Your first job is to look at yourself: what do you think? What are you like? How do you feel about your relationship to money, your money, and to having the conversation?
SELF-HONESTY TO FIGHT THE SHAME OGRE & SILENCE SPIRAL
Before you start: one really important thing in doing the self-assessment is to be honest — That includes being honest about privileges that you have, the nature of your current situation, and your expectations about money you’ll need or get in the future.
When we don’t self-assess honestly, we struggle to share honestly and don’t own up to our full experiences, which makes our trust bonds and shared plans less strong. The best thing you can do is to just describe, be honest, and try to share as best you can with the people you’re having the conversation with. Everyone appreciates that, especially because…
The most important thing to remember is: no one picks how they’re born. That includes the family and economic situation you’re born into. There’s no shame in being born with access to resources, just like there’s no shame in being born without access to resources. You can’t pick it. There’s also no shame in having and wanting or not wanting / having resources, spending, savings or debt. Let go of judging yourself and others and your plans will be easier to make.
Finally: Breaking silence is transformative. So many bad things brew in silence and secrecy – today, you’re getting ready to resist them.
READY TO START?
The topics related to money that we’ll go over for you to think about and use to prepare are:
- Class & situation
- Resource access
- Expectations and habits
- Mental health & self-care
Use them as a starting place to understand yourself, name your feelings, and generate stories to describe to someone about where you are financially, your money approach, and your expectations and needs.