When we get real with people, money enters in the picture.
Our financial realities, money stories, and economic experiences swim around us and tend to bump into other people’s ways of doing things.
Because each of us has a unique approach to “doing money”.
Sometimes we’re aware of it, sometimes we’re not. Usually it only matters to us when we’re trying to make a positive personal change or are experiencing rough financial times. But, our approach to money also stands out when we want to do things like:
- Move in with a sweetie or friend and share household costs…
- Buy a house, RV, collective art space…
- Save up to have kids with our co-parents…
- Plan to take a vacation or take the band on tour…
- Think through taking care of and ~gasp~ retiring with someone(s) as we age…
Making plans together – whether with a romantic or platonic partner, a roommate, or a collaborator – is a GREAT way to see those plans through. It makes it more fun! It makes it easier on all parties! It … makes the paperwork more intense…!?
It means you need:
- self-knowledge and ways to show up to conversations that may be challenging or just plain complex
- a practice of talking about things that lets you be be real, honest, and stay on the same page
- explicit plans and agreements – even when the plan is “we need to learn how to make our plan” – so you can keep it consentual and transparent.
- a feeling that the light at the end of the tunnel is gonna be that soft, rose-tinted light that makes everything lovely and the story end happily
This, friends, is why I’m thrilled to give you …
Partners Make Peace and Plans with Money: Toolkit for Money in a Relationship
The toolkit includes:
- Warm-up self reflection materials
- Five readings including: conversation agreements, discussion prompts, a HELP This Is Hard guide, Tools to Use, a Stories section…
- Videos to underscore your learning, including two workshops
- Design instructions to create peaceful and actionable plans around money
- Video introduction to each step, and a live partner dialogue example
- Several calculator spreadsheet templates for you and your people to easily crunch numbers together when setting shared budgets, calculating how long/how much a big savings goal needs to get to, understanding your shared money
- A five-step meeting guide with agendas, prep work, meeting plans, helper resources, guided conversation starters, and homework prompts
- A 30-page self-reflection and conversation guide with starters and helpful questions
- Worksheets covering goals, personal approaches, and an equity-based budgeting worksheet for people with very different resources
- BONUS: A legal agreements worksheet and podcast
- Helper materials on financial infrastructure, accounts, insurance, navigating tough conversations
- And more!
Having worked with many couples, collective houses, and small groups on money, I created a customizable, massive, level of support and guidance so you can self-drive along a path of money plans and getting consent and transparency.
Check out the Roadmap for the course here:
Get more awesome tools first
To get conversation guidelines and have a shared money language, then check out:
1) Get a guide to opening the conversation
If you want to say I’m listening to you differently, try saying: hon, let’s acknowledge our class differences and find smart ways to create shared reality around finances.
But no one actually says exactly that, I’ve created a guide to talk about money.
To learn exactly WHAT to say, and more importantly practice how YOU want to say it, I wrote a Guide to Talk About Money in a Relationship.
Sign up below to get a free chapter that includes a journaling guide and conversation starter – or grab the whole eBook download here!
2) Read up about:
- Sharing life costs and making life plans with friends and lovers can be complex — it can bring up deep feelings and highlight differences.
- How knowing yourself can be the first step to showing up for conversations about money with other people – and where to start.
- My awkward money conversations and how to do better
3) If you think that talking about money with our partners, roommates and close friends is a way to:
a) learn to be resilient, share money hacks, and plan to get awesome things together (hopefully)!
b) enter a potential hellmouth of navigating class difference, confusing decisions about fairness and equity, and missteps 🙁
c) all of the above (help!?)
You’ll love the support in this course. Sign up to get more stories, tools to help you, and Partners + Money course info below!