Only you can save yourself #byosd

Who’s the boss? YOU.

Who’s the one wildly waving your hands around saying “HELP!?” Also you.

There’s so much content on the internet that’s like You Go Girl! #BOSS #winning that never quite talks about the steps from here to there. It’s not like a snap your fingers thing — there’s work. Tending, refining, everyday work.

I recently was working with a collaborator on a project, and we’d hired someone to do marketing and on the ground tasks for us. The timing of the marketing was key, since we needed to get money coming in to have it available by a certain date. Normal business cash flow stuff.

After a few quiet days had passed, we checked in with our marketer. It became apparent that she hadn’t gotten as many ads up as we needed. Since I had all the copy and images from her and logins to accounts she didn’t, I quickly did a round of ads myself. Took 20 minutes I didn’t want to use, but soon responses started coming in, the machine was in motion and she was managing replies. Win!

Except, my collaborator was annoyed and thought we should have had the marketer do the ads.

I disagree.

It isn’t the marketers’ project, it’s mine. At the end of the day, the deadline is mine (and the profit or loss is mine too). I am responsible for it – whether I delegate it or do it. Innovating new ways to succeed is something I had to instigate. Whether I decided to outsource (you! Please go think up ways to make this work!) or just glitter done myself is moot.

Babes, sometimes it’s about process and sometimes it’s about getting the damn outcomes.


Tbh, I think it’s treacherous to outsource too much responsibility. Tasks, definitely – but the boss truth is: you’re where the buck stops for things that benefit you.

No one else is going to care more than you.

No one else will get more rewards than you if it finishes or succeeds.

No one else is going to be in as sticky a situation if it doesn’t work out.

No one else is more responsible for your success than you.


You. Are. Responsible.


Sucks a bit BUT once you own that truth, things can really kick into gear.

My friends, I have news for you: your financial life (and probably other parts of your life, too) is not a smoothly optimized experience. It’s going to be complex and have lots of steps. It’s going to require you learn things and try stuff out.

Whatever expectations you might have had that someone else is going to swoop in and *poof* make it all right, I need you to let go of them. There is no superman, no advisor, no magical being that can do it all for you. You will always need to have some engagement with your life.

I think the hope that someone else might swoop in and save us comes from a bunch of bullshit stories. You can’t wait on a company, partner, or a future time where you are somehow magically better than now.

You are the one you’ve been waiting for.


Over here at Ride Free, I don’t care what you do/don’t spend money on as long as it’s intentional and you are responsible to yourself about it. No one is “making you” use money (except maybe the tax folks), but definitely no one is forcing you to buy the specific groceries, cars, clothes, whatever you have. No one is making you use an app that sucks to manage your money. No one is making you remember (or forget) to put money away for retirement. It’s you.

It freaks me out when I see otherwise strong and powerful people suddenly make someone or something else The Reason they aren’t doing stuff that frankly they gotta do.


Where I see this behaviour most often go awry is people trying to delegate the wrong stuff, in a crappy way.

Right way: here’s some tasks, let’s check in, oh that’s not quite it try this, yes keep going, ack let me take that one piece back and move it forward. Onwards [shit gets done] “Yes – we did it!”

Wrong way: here’s a vague problem, talk to you in a week just give me updates or whatever. [time passes] what the hell is this!? This is not what I had in mind… Ugh I guess I have to get someone else to do it. [takes time to find someone else – repeat, nothing gets done]. “Why is everyone such a mess! It’s their fault I’m not _____.”

The difference between these two is that in the Wrong Way to Delegate, the person passed too much decision-making off.

No, no, no!

You don’t want a boss dumping vague yet important tasks on you, and you don’t wanna shove your important tasks away.


God. In a world where we each have real limitations, the last thing I want you doing is passing off instances where you do have choice, options, and the opportunity to create your experience.

Dividing up tasks and delegating them out can be great, but anyone who’s ever been a boss knows you have to check in on people’s work to give direction, feedback, and pointers. Otherwise someone else’s ideas, standards of work (or non-work), and vision gets executed, not yours. If you like what they did, you don’t know how it worked. If it didn’t go well, you have little insight into why.


But let’s back out of the work analogy – think of anything you expect to work for you.

Your cell phone. Your money-tracking app. Your credit card. Your auto-bill-payments. Your car.

Believe me: every technology, system, and person will be faulty at some point. That’s the nature of entropy my friends.

Rather than acting surprised, be ready.

Maybe don’t check your auto-payments every month but check in on them a few times a year at least. If your money tracking app is confusing you, stop using it and try something else. If your credit card is declined call and find out if you’ve been hacked or just overspent. If your car makes a noise change the oil at least.

Having a self-focused attitude is the best thing for your money or your life: get the help you need, but remember that you’re the one who’s gotta glitter done because you’re the one that benefits when you do.


I have a name for this: It’s Be Your Own Sugar Daddy.

Don’t pretend you aren’t strong, smart, and capable. You don’t have to have the answers just be willing to get your hands a little dirty to be closer to the next answer you can get. That’s it.

Be your own sugar daddy. Get your money working for you by working for it. Then go do what you want, responsible as hell and ready to sprinkle some sugar around.